Recaps: Reception

I’m moving on to the reception today. I know the pictures are still completely on hold, but I have seen a slideshow preview of our photos and I am BLOWN AWAY. I can’t wait to show them to you.  It’ll be a few weeks before I get my photos (on disc) back from my photographer. But, I wanted to recap with words so that I could move on to finish tutorials and then just focus on pictures.

Our reception was really wonderful. We had Christmas music in the background. We had all our friends at one table and our family in front and behind us. We got to sit down and talk and eat our wonderful pizza (seriously, if you are ever in the area hit me up… sailor pizza is where it’s at). We got to talk to every single guest at least once. We mingled, we smashed cake in our faces.

Even though, to be honest… there was a ton of things we didn’t do. We staged garter and bouquet tosses. There was no first dance. None of that. We cut the groom’s cake instead.

The grooms cake… Neyland stadium of course. Jonathon, had really wanted a Neyland stadium cake. So, Marsheena and I conspired to get one secretly. 

Our “real” cake?  White chocolate and peppermint fudge in orange and white! It was delicious and unique.  Although, it was really beautiful I didn’t even get to try it until 2 days later at a family gathering. But it was wonderful and perfect.

Then, Jonathon disappeared for awhile and took his dad to see his bookstore (Jonathon runs the one on campus) and Nikki and I took some fashion shots.

We did do something fun. Our (I can say that now) Nanny Gail decided we needed to kiss whenever someone tinged the glass and we kissed… a lot. And laughed. And the apple pie we cooked ourselves… yeah, we put WAY to much apple jack in it. It was strong… and so punk rock.

And just like that it was over. We were loading up the car and heading home to the after party. Which turned into taking pictures with the photographer and then Amy falling asleep in the recliner, but it was still a blast.

Personal Reflections: Ceremony

I was in an extreme hurry to get our ceremony started. It could be because I was worried about all of our guests that had to drive home in the horrible winter storm, the fact that I was barefoot on the cold stone floor, or nerves. Either way, I couldn’t wait to get started.

And the moment I walked through the door and saw our guests and Jonathon standing at the alter … I smiled. I almost tripped going up, but I just laughed it off.

Then, the moment I took Jonathon’s hand nothing else mattered. Nothing. I looked in his eyes, we talked quietly, we smiled, we wept a little. And we laughed. Laughed at our mistakes (it’s hard for the perfectionist in me to do that) and we improvised. It was the most present I felt. It was also the most surreal I had felt.

Leading up to the ceremony, I think I mostly in out of body, freaked out and worried because of the weather (it really was that bad) and other things that I wasn’t completely focused.

However, it was incredibly nice to just see the look on Jonathon’s face. I almost kissed him during the candle light ceremony and he giggled and said that we couldn’t. I laughed and looked over at our guests holding their candles.. it was overwhelming.

Guest Lists and Disappointment

I want to talk a bit about why our RSVP status had disappointed me so much a first. The first thing Jonathon and I did when we started planning this shindig was to start with the people we wanted there, those that we were indifferent on but had to be there, those that wanted to be there but we didn't know if we could fit them in, etc.

We made LISTS. We made 7 different guest lists. We made lists of everyone who had to be there and those that we would love to be there. At one point, we had a guest list of 400. Seriously.

When it all spiralled out of control, we changed our reception venue to smaller dining room on the campus where we will be married. The chapel could hold 40 or 200 it didn't matter. But the reception venue was important.

So, the smaller venue hold 55 at the most. So, we took out the list and made revisions. We put the people that had to be there first (attendants, parents, grandparents, selected family members, etc) and then we asked ourselves:

Can we have a wedding without this person?

If the answer was no, they got invited. If the answer was yes, they didn't. It was hard because we love our family and friends dearly and in the end a huge cut was made. Then, we still had about 100 people. We cut out everyone who was extended family. We hacked away at this list and ended up with 65 people.

We knew a few people would say no, but we reworked tables in the venue to squeeze them all in. And then we sent out invitations... and the nos came in (and the yes's too) and I started to get disappointed. People who we thought would be there.. wouldn't. Attendant's flaked out on us.. etc.

We knew it was a week before Christmas, we knew it was a 2 hour drive through the cold December mountains, we knew it was asking a lot from the people we loved... but goal.. our dearest hope was pure.

We wanted to share our life here with all of them.

But what we got were sometimes selfish complaints (It's too far, you should have considered my schedule/life/needs first, etc) and sometimes reasonable objections (class/family Christmas schedules/work [and in this economy I get it]). But what bothered me the most were these people who were supposed to love and support us bombarding us with negativity (see the selfish complaints). It hurt.

So, in the end I needed a pep talk. (Refer to yesterday's post.) I got it and in the end.. all will be well. I am at peace with the choices we have made. We did them for the right reasons with love in our hearts. It will not be me that has to answer for all the negativity that people put forth in the world.

I can only be responsible for my actions and for the energies I inject into society. I would like to think that 90% of the time it is positive life affirming energy full of love and compassion. But I get busy and frustrated and I'm not perfect. I have made mistakes and done things I am not proud of in my life. But the key is that I try to live my life in an unselfish manner to benefit mankind. Selfish people turn my stomach, but I do not live for them (or their life) so I cannot be the judge and jury. They must all come to terms with themselves.

That said, I have gotten past my disappointment. Mostly because while some fun people have said no.. we still have our best friends, parents, and some crazy kids we couldn't imagine the after party without.

cloudy with a chance of wedding showers

We have a busy weekend ahead of us. We have to drive to TN tomorrow afternoon as soon as we get off work. Then my weekend looks like this.

Friday
Go to Tennessee
Get car insurance (long story about Honda and Farm Bureau not cooperating)
See our parents
Mail out our invitations

Saturday
Makeup trial
Go order treats for our reception
Meet with our officiant to finalize the ceremony details.
Go to a shower my sister in law and Marsheena are throwing us
Pack up the car
Go look at bridesmaid dresses with Sheena and Sam (ie play with baby Sophie)
Possible make over at Sephora?
Go to the Young Alumni dinner at our college
Give everyone information they will need for the wedding at this point

Sunday
Go see our friend Nate
Church and breakfast with Jonathon's grandma
See our parents

Monday (still in TN)
Get up early and go to the dentist for fillings (ouch)
Drive back to NC
Work a half day
Go home, watch OTH and collapse

Shower

We went to TN this weekend for a shower that my mom and matron of honor threw for us. We had a blast on Saturday, but ended up so worn out from it we fell asleep for most of the second half of the Vols game. (They lost anyway... sad day.)

We ended up getting lots of really nice presents. Some of our favorites: a tall, rolling, rubbermaid laundry hamper, a vintage book from my old grammar school, gorgeous dishes, and turquoise Paula Dean pots and pans! Love.

My mother asked everyone to bring their favorite book as well for us to have. We got some interesting titles. It will be fun to read them. I really loved the Skinny Bitch in the Kitchen cookbook and Sophie's World.

Although the sweetest and most heart felt present was from my aunt Charlotte (who is the front office secretary at my old elementary school) who managed to rescue some books from the old school (they remodeled when I was in 4th grade) and gave us one of those! It's a lovely children's book called Peppermint Lane and I can't wait to share it with our kids someday!!

Our favorite part was seeing old friends (my best friend from high school and my best friend from college both came!) and family (my dad came!). We talked and laughed the afternoon away.

*image from author's private collection, taken by Ricky Moore.

Nice Things

I’ve been busy on the wedding front in many ways. Jonathon and I went back to our hometown a few weekends ago. We met with our officiant (Dr. Roberts) and took our flower girl and my future sister in law to lunch. (We also got new cell phones, but that’s aside from the point.)

Hannah, my sweet flower girl, is Jonathon’s cousin. She’s 11, smart, precocious, and fun to be around. She actually said to me “I’m glad you’re marrying Jonathon.” Which made my day. I love Hannah. She’s sweet.

I have also worked on other little things, but my mom got me part of my wedding jewelry for my birthday and my garter. I have to share these two things with you.

My garter mom got on sale. It’s a Mindy Weiss set.

I really wanted a nice garter, but nothing really fancy. We aren’t doing a traditional toss, but we are doing a toss. Basically, Jonathon only has one single guy friend and he is going to give the garter to him instead of tossing it.

The necklace, my mom got from an Indie website called Shana Logic. 

I really wanted my something blue (a light blue ribbon choker) to not be wasted or hidden. I happen to love blue and orange together so I opted not to hide it. Instead, I found this lovely cameo (which I love cameos… I have since I was a little girl going through my great- grandmother’s cameos.) So, as another tribute to her and to accentuate my lovely choker I am going to use this. I’ll take it off the blue and put it on my choker. Sigh. So lovely.

So, how are your wedding plans going?

Wedding Blahs

I don’t know about you, but today I am tired of wedding plans. I am tired of weddings. This could be because of family crap, and maybe I will vent about it later. However, today I want to talk about something inspiring.

1. Korres Sage and Thyme face wash. It makes my oily skin feel soft and clean. It’s completely natural, made in Greece and makes me happy.

2. Jonathon, the love of my life who isn’t afraid of my tears, who pulls me close when my heart is breaking and make me feel safe and calm and alive.

3. The Black Dahlia book, which is engrossing, intriguing, shocking, and all out good.

4. Rain, because now the lake looks much better.

Something Old

This isn’t the best picture of my something old. However, it is the only one I’ve taken.  Let me introduce you to my something old.

This broach was my great grandmothers. I loved her very much, and we were very close. She passed away in 2001. I have this of hers. I thought I would have my mother pin it to my bouquet. It’s so gorgeous, truly vintage, and reminds me of playing in her jewelry box as a kid (my favorite activity at her house). And it means I get to have a piece of her with me on that day.

So here’s a list of my things so far: Something old – my great grandma’s broach, Something new – my dress and all that jazz, something blue – my choker, something borrowed – ???.

Logic Games

Logic games for the LSAT usually don’t have many complicated rules. Planning your reception seating chart usually sounds like a LSAT logic game.

Aunt Ida won’t sit next to Aunt Paula.

Jessie and Jeremy don’t like Nathan.

Brad and Maggie will only sit next to Becky.

Becky refuses to sit near Bob.

So on and so forth. Or if you are like Jonathon and I, our mothers and fathers hate each other. Nasty divorces and years of resentment have left both parties hating each other. So my mom won’t sit near my dad and Missy and Mike feel the same way. Let’s just say planning a seating arrangement was something I wanted to start early and work on to get just right. Mostly to save the peace. However, I did make some interesting pairings that Jonathon thought were great ideas. I have several “problem” guests who are invited and either is negative about Jonathon or myself but are either friends or family… or mainly one of Jonathon’s groomsmen’s wife hates me. Why? I have no clue. Not a one. So… yeah.

After probably 3 months of finagling¸ I have finally managed to work out my seating chart based on the projected invitees should we have 100% positive RSVPs. That’s a little screen shot of it up there. (Have I mentioned I love using Excel…. for everything? I use it for all my wedding plans. It’s a great tool.) You will also notice I marked out the table names. That's because those are a surprise.

A Tribute to Mom: the yo-yo

While browsing This is Glamorous, last week I came across a ton a very fashionable yo-yo pictures. My mother loves to sew. She loves making yo-yos. She even made me a yo-yo quilt which is usually displayed on the back of my couch. Mom is a whiz at this sewing thing. I knew when I saw this I had to post this a tribute to my mom. (Hi Mom!)

A yo-yo dress. Those are huge yo-yos!
I'm thinking this might be a fun way to package our programs. (the blue one)

So mom, could we make cool chair covers like that?

Ahhh... a Saturday

Thank goodness for the weekend!!! This week has been long and emotional and stressful. On one hand, it's a busy time for J Rock. He's knee deep in buying books back from greedy kids who want more money than they deserve for their crummy, coke stained, water damaged, spine broken books. For me, it's time to see if the first 6 months of my new job was a success. In that, if the SACS document we worked so hard on to make this college a 4 year institution will be approved. Then, there's Christmas things, wedding things, student loan things (our mommys and daddys didn't pay our way through life - thank god - because we are stronger, more financially intelligent, smarter, less snotty people for it), rent things, and life things, and living together things. It gets to be too much from time to time.

So, faced with a fresh wave of financial panic (remember the student loan things) I broke down earlier in the week. So, when J Rock got home, we sat down and talked wedding. Well, actually we went in the bedroom and I curled my head on his chest and we laid there in the dark (where it's easier to talk about emotional things because you aren't face to face in the glaring light) and talked. I confessed that our 200 person guest list, 3 venues, food and drinks for them, the decorations, the flowers, the dress, the dj, and the videographer were depressing me and making me question whether it was worth it.

Then, amazing man that he is, Jonathon decided that enough was enough. He proposed we only invite 50 of our nearest and dearest. We move the reception to the RDR (I'll upload pictures later, and it can only hold 55), we skip the DJ, we skip the videographer, and we have a kick ass intimate wedding for family and friends that really love and care for us.

And that is what we are doing. We are still getting married in the chapel. We are still using our super awesome photographer, and we will have great food, and it will be bliss. I agreed. I got up, I went to my printed out spreadsheet and started marking out people with a vengeance. As I did my heart broke a little, but I also felt free! I felt free from the constraints of a wedding that was outdated, a little pretentious, a lot expensive, and very traditional (in a bad way). I was holding onto all those wedding rules that no one follows anymore. Now, we are free to have an elegant, classy wedding without skimping on anything important.

And the best part? Our wedding doesn't have one reception. Nope, it has the one right after the wedding and TWO (!!!) more. Yes, two! We are going to have a low key family barbecue with both of our families (one for each family since they are so large) sometime the summer after our wedding. And we won't plan too much for those, and our families will help and we can all be together.

I'm a tad excited and a lot less stressed.

Rocking: the early morning silence
Feeling: happier

Home Sweet Home

We are back home from our trip to see our parents and J Rock's trip to ATL. It has been a busy wedding week. And a busy week period. My boy is sick today. He got a wicked virus yesterday. So I'm munching on airborne and playing nurse. But let me tell you about my week.

My mom (love her!) found a typewriter (for free!) for me for our STDS. So, the first morning I was home, I cracked it open and started to work. The work was slow and repetitive. But fun. I have a small, fairly precise area to work with. I am about halfway done and I now have it down to a science. I just need to find the envelopes to type out the addresses.

Then, Natasha (my MOH) and I went shopping for fun wedding things. It started with a trip to get wedding shoes. I found some adorable Steven by Steve Madden shoes. They were fuschia with a dragon fly rhinestone. It just wasn't what I was looking for though. So, the search continues for shoes. But we went to Hobby Lobby where I did luck out. I bought some new gold stamp ink. But I found a wonderful stamp that looks like the postage paid stamp from Paris in 1949. And one for our thank you post cards (which we already have) that says merci!. I'm so happy with those. I also found 35 gold Christmas tree balls of all sizes for $10 and some other gold, ivory and orange balls. Lovely.

On Tuesday, my wonderful engagement photographer worked through the night (Monday) so that our pictures were ready. I'll have this disk this week and will regale you with my favorites. I'm pretty excited.

It was a productive week, even though I forgot to write down the two Dj's numbers so that I could call them and I was sans internet for a week. I got a bunch done.