I am a girl

I am a girl and there is nothing wrong with that.
I am and am not a feminist and there is nothing wrong with that.
I love women and men … equally.
And I will say that all the crap about I'm feminist and therefore I am more awesome than all you non-feminist crap… is well, crap.
Who cares?
If you want to stay at home and be a mom, love the color pink, love weddings (big frothy white a pink affairs or more unconventional types), love puppies and babies, and want to feel loved and protected by a man… GOOD.
If you want to be strong, and shun conventional, not change your name after your wedding, and never want kids… GOOD.

I will never tell someone the way they live their life is wrong, because it is not my life to live. I will never tell you to get or not get an abortion or take plan b or love your husband. I will never tell you that you should do this or that…. Because it is your life to live.

Who cares if you want to call yourself a feminist and go home and clean up after your husband (maybe he would just destroy the house) or cook for him (maybe he burns boiled water). It's not up to anyone to tell you that is wrong.

Who cares if you aren't perfect or normal or wonderful? You just need to be you.

That applies to your wedding, your life, your married life, your career, your kids, your whole world. Be who you are, but don't be dogmatic with other people or force yourself into doing something you hate because it's what is expected of you.

Let me tell you what the world expects: Be your beautiful, wonderful, happiest self. The end.

Marriage Myth

We get married for quite a few reasons. For us lucky ones (like me and Jonathon) we get married because we fall in love. But it's not always for love that we get married. Sometimes people marry for money or power, sometimes for escape or need, maybe for fear or lust. Marriage hasn't always been about love.

The Indians by and large have always and still marry based on parental choices and hopefully love will come with time. (A great showing of this is in the Bollywood movie Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam.)

Monarchs have historically married for political or monetary gain. (One exception was Henry VIII and we see how that turned out.)

But today the great majority of us have the will and ability to marry the person we love. We are raised from birth to know that one day we will find a man (or woman for the guys) to love and who will complete us (however, much I disagree with this statement... although... no that's another topic) and we will fall in love, have a big wedding, and live happily ever after. (As a side note I wonder about happily ever after... I mean, I want to be apart of the first year that Cinderella and Prince Charming were married.... I mean did she mind he was also married to Sleeping Beauty? And did they fight alot? Did she cry at night when no one was looking because she was now basically his servant? And did she think that maybe this was a big mistake? Did she have growing pains? My boss told me once that the first year of marriage is the hardest. And I believe that. The first year here living with Jonathon was hard and required adjusting, but I love it and him and I wouldn't change it.)

But I am saddened that even though we live in a society that touts equality and peace and harmony... my friends who are GLBT can't marry the one they love. They can't go to their religious leader or court house and get married. It's wrong on so many levels. Separate but equal was abolished for the good of everyone. And yet... we are still a separate people.. still convinced our own small minded views are correct... still threatened by a perceived notion.

So, my rallying cry is this... GO GET MARRIED. Girls go marry your girlfriends and boys go marry your man! Do it! I don't care if it is legal or not. Defy the artificial and arbitrary boundaries that someone who doesn't know you and has no right to judge your life has set up. Screw them and do what makes you happy. Run toward your bliss!

Elle Decor

Have I mentioned how much I love Elle Decor? Non? I adore it. I spent the weekend catching up with the past 3 issues with cups of pumpkin coffee while the rain poured down in sheets.

J’adore automne!

Petit Trianon

When we first moved to our small town in North Carolina, we were certified city kids who resented the lack of Taco Bell, Target (until last month there wasn’t even a Wal-Mart that was less than 45 minutes away let alone Target!), malls, or well anything. We did appreciate the mountains and the lakes (I’d say the book Cold Mountain was set close to here.)  though and loved the scenery.

Our first year here was somewhat boring and lazy. We tried local restaurants (and fell in love with them and eat there often, our reception menu was based and is being catered by one of them), went to a few of the local mom and pop shops (there are 3 awesome book stores – 2 of them have vintage books), and watched a lot of baseball.

And we learnt to cook… and fast or we would have starved. So, I have been trying new recipes since we moved here and crafts and things. My grandmother loves it. I believe my new found self reliance, cook ability, yearning to make preserves this summer and all around kitchen skills makes me her favorite granddaughter. Or at least the one she is most proud of.. I may be biased. 

Anyway, this morning is one morning where I love our own little Petit Trianon. I feel like Marie Antoinette at her country chateau. This morning I made scrumptious pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, coffee with pumpkin creamer, and I put chili in the crock pot to slow cook all day for supper.

Yesterday I made pumpkin cheesecake. I think I know why we have gained 10 pounds since we moved here. But it’s heaven watching the rain fall in heavy sheets while the fog rolls down off higher cliffs on the mountain and Jonathon snores away in bed. Yes, I have found my own little happy place. My Petit Trianon in North Carolina.

*image from here.

Style Circle

I am having fun playing with the tools over at Style Me Pretty’s Style Circle. While it’s not open to the general public yet, and I am just testing it.. I thought I’d share a lovely inspiration board with you.

I made this inspiration board.

Personal

As most of you know, I lost my job earlier in the year due to budget cuts. However, I have been working still with a different department (actually any department) part time. I had applied for another position as well. I did not get that position. However, the head of the department was apparently impressed by me and really wanted to find a spot for me in her budget. She has been working on that. She told me 2 weeks ago that arrangements had been made for me to work part time with her office. However, that fell through. So, I am back to being unemployed come the end of summer.

I am going for a job interview today. I would really love this job. I am praying for a miracle and that I can get this job. When the job first came open I didn’t apply since I thought I had secured a job. It was when I was keeping up with candidates for positions in the school. I know there were more than 50 applicants then. When I asked about it I was told that they had made an offer.  That fell through and I was allowed to apply.

Jonathon and I really need this job. Otherwise, our whole financial future is completely uncertain.  It’s scary. I’ve been going through periods of hope and period of depression. My psyche is taking a beating. It’s been a rough year for us so far.  I am hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

LCL

“Ours is essentially a tragic age, so we refuse to take it tragically. The cataclysm has happened, we are among the ruins, we start to build up new little habitats, to have new little hopes. It is rather hard work: there is now no smooth road into the future: but we go round, or scramble over the obstacles. We've got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen.”

I think D.H Lawrence said it best. This is how I am feeling right now. There has been no tragedy per say. I have been blessed with nothing but good things, great friends, a wonderful mother, and Jonathon.

But this is my favorite you can make it quote and I needed it today. I hope you enjoyed as well.

Sweet Surprise

Flowers from my boy. The pictures I took of them. So lovely.

Wedding Blahs

I don’t know about you, but today I am tired of wedding plans. I am tired of weddings. This could be because of family crap, and maybe I will vent about it later. However, today I want to talk about something inspiring.

1. Korres Sage and Thyme face wash. It makes my oily skin feel soft and clean. It’s completely natural, made in Greece and makes me happy.

2. Jonathon, the love of my life who isn’t afraid of my tears, who pulls me close when my heart is breaking and make me feel safe and calm and alive.

3. The Black Dahlia book, which is engrossing, intriguing, shocking, and all out good.

4. Rain, because now the lake looks much better.

Work and Other non-wedding topics

This was supposed to be my last week of work. However, I am fortunate that another department has asked me to stay on and help them part time until July 1. I’m happy about this. It gives me more time to find another job and I’m not unemployed yet. However, I have been helping so many people with so much stuff that I haven’t had much time for anything. Plus, this is the 2 weeks where Jonathon and I are on campus until 7 pm every night. So, yeah.

On that thought. I also have been slacking in the wedding department. I have been preoccupied to say the least and so much is done that the only thing left are the small details. I  know. Slacking.

However, I have found a nifty feature on my Windows Live Writer. I can write a post when I have time and it will publish it on a set date. This handy feature I plan to put to use sometime soon.

Also, one of my bridesmaid is days if not hours from having her baby. Another one is about to graduate from college. So, we are preparing to go to her graduation. Then, there’s my life is general. It’s so crazy.

Forgive my lack of posts. I am trying to be a better blogger. (Did I mention I am writing a book?)

No WWW

I don't have a wedding wish today. It's not that I'm not wishing for wedding things left and right, but most of it is so trivial that it doesn't matter. (Like I wish I knew if they were going to change catering companies over the summer, I wish I knew what dress I wanted...) None of that is good blogging, or interesting to anyone but me.

So, I decided to give you a list of things I wish I could do or that I would like to learn to do. Ready?

I wish I knew how to speak Italian and how to cook great homemade Italian food, authentic Italian.

I wish I could speak Hindi so that next time I go to India I won't be hindered by my lack of speaking the language.

I wish I knew how to swim. I took lessons when I was 3 but they didn't stick living as I did in the middle of the country in MO, with no discernible body of water nearby. So, I forgot and now I splash around in 5 foot pools but don't swim. Maybe my ex-swim team fiance can teach me.

I wish I knew how to cut a diamond. Just because.

I wish I could read all the books I come across, and that I would never stop learning.

I wish I knew how to sew a yo-yo. (Mom's going to have to teach me one day.) Not because I long to sew, but because.. it's something to know.

I wish I knew how to organize a closet like a pro, because right now mine looks like a hurricane just recently went through it.

I wish I knew how to make organic, 100% pure and healthy sugar cookies (that taste amazing).
And lastly, (for today anyway) I wish I knew how to juggle.

Anything you wish you knew how to do?

Image found here.