11/05/2009

Marriage Myth

We get married for quite a few reasons. For us lucky ones (like me and Jonathon) we get married because we fall in love. But it's not always for love that we get married. Sometimes people marry for money or power, sometimes for escape or need, maybe for fear or lust. Marriage hasn't always been about love.

The Indians by and large have always and still marry based on parental choices and hopefully love will come with time. (A great showing of this is in the Bollywood movie Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam.)

Monarchs have historically married for political or monetary gain. (One exception was Henry VIII and we see how that turned out.)

But today the great majority of us have the will and ability to marry the person we love. We are raised from birth to know that one day we will find a man (or woman for the guys) to love and who will complete us (however, much I disagree with this statement... although... no that's another topic) and we will fall in love, have a big wedding, and live happily ever after. (As a side note I wonder about happily ever after... I mean, I want to be apart of the first year that Cinderella and Prince Charming were married.... I mean did she mind he was also married to Sleeping Beauty? And did they fight alot? Did she cry at night when no one was looking because she was now basically his servant? And did she think that maybe this was a big mistake? Did she have growing pains? My boss told me once that the first year of marriage is the hardest. And I believe that. The first year here living with Jonathon was hard and required adjusting, but I love it and him and I wouldn't change it.)

But I am saddened that even though we live in a society that touts equality and peace and harmony... my friends who are GLBT can't marry the one they love. They can't go to their religious leader or court house and get married. It's wrong on so many levels. Separate but equal was abolished for the good of everyone. And yet... we are still a separate people.. still convinced our own small minded views are correct... still threatened by a perceived notion.

So, my rallying cry is this... GO GET MARRIED. Girls go marry your girlfriends and boys go marry your man! Do it! I don't care if it is legal or not. Defy the artificial and arbitrary boundaries that someone who doesn't know you and has no right to judge your life has set up. Screw them and do what makes you happy. Run toward your bliss!

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