Epiphany

Wedding aside, I love Jonathon. I love that right now we have a ton of things to accomplish before going home to Tennessee to see our family, my bridesmaids, and all the people I care about for the fourth... I love that with my migraine from heck and all my being worn out from work, he came in and massaged my head and neck to try to get rid of my headache.

This is why you get married. To have someone who cares about you enough to massage away your migraine (which he always does for me) and to cuddle you when you feel like crying and to give you a squeeze when you are nervous and eat lunch with you and steal your blankets at night and to hold you when you have a nightmare and vice versa. Marriage isn't about anything other than letting one person know that you love them and have such a stake in their life that you would like to share the small things and the big things and cry and laugh and hold hands when you walk to the mailbox and watch stupid movies and play mini golf and look forward to see the new Harry Potter movie together. You want to be able to wake up and go to sleep knowing that someone is there to get your back, fight your battles, and sometimes just admit defeat with you.

I need Jonathon in my life like an alcoholic needs booze. He's amazing and smart and he listens and takes care of me and I try to do the same for him. We make a great team. So... even though I am giddy at the thought of seeing my dress.... I am more giddy because that man of my dreams will be standing at the altar and smiling at me like I am the most beautiful woman in the world... because he truly believes that... and because he is the guy I want to stand beside forever. And he makes mean naan.

Dress Update!

I am so excited today! I emailed Chrissy about my dress since I was checking in with my lovely wedding fairies. And she got back to me and said that my dress is gorgeous and she should be ready to ship it at the end of the month! *squee*

For those who don’t remember this is my dress and it is being made by the fabulous Chrissy Wai-Ching!

She is also making my veil! I can’t wait to see them.

Anniversary

Today, is an anniversary of sorts for Jonathon and I. We celebrated in style. We had great Italian food at a nice little cafe. We shopped (but didn’t buy anything) at expensive antique stores, went to see Year One, and played mini-golf.

Today was a day away from my normal life. My life that has been depressing me lately. No job as of yet. I didn’t get the job I interviewed for. They went with someone who had more experience and I haven’t heard anything back from the latest resume I turned it. Depressing job market … especially in the middle of nowhere, but today was good.

Here’s a sneak peak of what is coming in future blog posts when I finish my temp job (which is surprisingly hectic).

My something blue. My choker. Pretty. 

My mood

Today, the only words I have to say are:

"Ours is essentially a tragic age, so we refuse to take it tragically. The cataclysm has happened, we are among the ruins, we start to build up new little habitats, to have new little hopes. It is rather hard work: there is now no smooth road into the future: but we go round, or scramble over the obstacles. We've got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen."
D.H. Lawrence

Personal

As most of you know, I lost my job earlier in the year due to budget cuts. However, I have been working still with a different department (actually any department) part time. I had applied for another position as well. I did not get that position. However, the head of the department was apparently impressed by me and really wanted to find a spot for me in her budget. She has been working on that. She told me 2 weeks ago that arrangements had been made for me to work part time with her office. However, that fell through. So, I am back to being unemployed come the end of summer.

I am going for a job interview today. I would really love this job. I am praying for a miracle and that I can get this job. When the job first came open I didn’t apply since I thought I had secured a job. It was when I was keeping up with candidates for positions in the school. I know there were more than 50 applicants then. When I asked about it I was told that they had made an offer.  That fell through and I was allowed to apply.

Jonathon and I really need this job. Otherwise, our whole financial future is completely uncertain.  It’s scary. I’ve been going through periods of hope and period of depression. My psyche is taking a beating. It’s been a rough year for us so far.  I am hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.