Bad Advice Winter Brides are Getting and some good advice from a nudist

I got an email the other day with "Do's and Don'ts for Winter Brides." This advice was so bad, so horrendously unimaginative, cookie cutter, and boring (and down right as bad as telling a bride she has to wear a long white poofy dress).

Here are some Dos:
1. Put crystals everywhere, on tables in your hair, on your dress. Use crystals, rhinestones and glass. (Yes, because you definitely want to blind your guests with thousands of shiny objects in a small space.)
2. Put ice sculptures in every corner! (Uh huh. You so want them to be even colder by bringing the snow inside.)
3. Serve a signature cocktail. (Because nothing says love like a mix of Bacardi 151, milk, and tequila.)

Here are some Don'ts:
1. Don't offend your guests with a religious ceremony. (Oh because it would be so bad to mention God at Christmas? I mean, even if some of your guests or you aren't particularly religious... you wouldn't want to offend them by mentioning anything religious.)
2. Don't even think of playing Christmas music. (No that wouldn't be appropriate at all. I mean, who doesn't want to hear Ava Maria this time of year? Or maybe you should just walk down the aisle to Frosty the Snowman.)
3. Don't offer a seasonal menu because that one guest with a dietary restriction will be pissed. (Seriously? I mean... SERIOUSLY?!?!)

Good Advice from a Nudist Wedding
"No we didn't get in shape for this. I am what I am."
(And you think you were worried getting married dressed. She got married naked!!)