Some Holga Pictures

I bought a Holga for the wedding. I handed it over to two college students and said go crazy. I thought I’d share a few of the better pictures with you.

Tutorial: Place Cards

For our place cards we used library cards in handmade pockets with people’s names on them. They were cute and whimsical.  I got the pocket template from Creature Comforts I believe.

You start by tracing out the pattern on whatever paper you want to use. I used various colors of orange and gold cardstock.

Then you cut them out, fold them, and glue them together.

   The last thing you do is put the name on the card (I did the calligraphy) and then stuff them in. It’s pretty easy, et voila!

   

*all photos are mine.

Photobooth

This is one of my favorite non-professional photos that was taken at our reception. We set up a little fake photo booth in an alcove beside the dining room. I love this photo because Jonathon looks like “ yeah I’m the man.”

The orange back drop is a sari that I got in India my senior year of college. It’s a beautiful sari. I never get to wear it, but it’s so wonderful.

I took a few photos in the photo booth, but they are on the disposable cameras. So, I haven’t seen half of them yet, but I can’t wait. I just need to get by a photo developing unit.

But here are a few of the best photos from the photo booth so far.

** All photos taken by guests.

Recaps: Reception

I’m moving on to the reception today. I know the pictures are still completely on hold, but I have seen a slideshow preview of our photos and I am BLOWN AWAY. I can’t wait to show them to you.  It’ll be a few weeks before I get my photos (on disc) back from my photographer. But, I wanted to recap with words so that I could move on to finish tutorials and then just focus on pictures.

Our reception was really wonderful. We had Christmas music in the background. We had all our friends at one table and our family in front and behind us. We got to sit down and talk and eat our wonderful pizza (seriously, if you are ever in the area hit me up… sailor pizza is where it’s at). We got to talk to every single guest at least once. We mingled, we smashed cake in our faces.

Even though, to be honest… there was a ton of things we didn’t do. We staged garter and bouquet tosses. There was no first dance. None of that. We cut the groom’s cake instead.

The grooms cake… Neyland stadium of course. Jonathon, had really wanted a Neyland stadium cake. So, Marsheena and I conspired to get one secretly. 

Our “real” cake?  White chocolate and peppermint fudge in orange and white! It was delicious and unique.  Although, it was really beautiful I didn’t even get to try it until 2 days later at a family gathering. But it was wonderful and perfect.

Then, Jonathon disappeared for awhile and took his dad to see his bookstore (Jonathon runs the one on campus) and Nikki and I took some fashion shots.

We did do something fun. Our (I can say that now) Nanny Gail decided we needed to kiss whenever someone tinged the glass and we kissed… a lot. And laughed. And the apple pie we cooked ourselves… yeah, we put WAY to much apple jack in it. It was strong… and so punk rock.

And just like that it was over. We were loading up the car and heading home to the after party. Which turned into taking pictures with the photographer and then Amy falling asleep in the recliner, but it was still a blast.

Confession

I want to talk about something difficult today. I want to start by saying that it doesn’t reflect anyone but me and I want to make it clear that it was still wonderful.

I didn’t love my wedding as a whole. I loved certain parts of our wedding. I loved the ceremony. I loved the reception. I loved being with Jonathon. I loved our photographer and all the pieces and parts I worked so incredibly hard on. I loved all the details. I loved our vows and our pastor. I loved the library and I love my husband very much. I love being married to him.

But I don’t like the way I felt leading up to the wedding. I felt very stressed (not about things getting done or not done… but in general). I lost about 5 lbs in the 3 days leading up to the wedding (which I needed to do and was excited about) but not how or why I lost them. I think I was in a mild state of panic attack… constantly. Most of it stems from internal problems (and some externals like the weather… etc), but I was not a peace until the whole shebang was over and I was so exhausted at the end of the wedding I practically crashed at the after party and slept the whole next day.

If I could do it over again (I wouldn’t), I would have scheduled a wedding party yoga class for the morning of and became zen. I would have kept my booking for a massage. I would have done anything to stop feeling so completely and utterly lost. I was so confused there were a thousand things going on and I just felt surreal. Not in a good surreal.

True, it all faded as I walked down the aisle and I tripped on the hem of my dress and I laughed and it was okay. That’s when I calmed down. I hated to say this. I felt bad. I was beating myself up for not feeling the way I should have felt. But apparently, it doesn’t show in the guests photos that I have been getting back. I was really worried I would be frowning in all my images, but apparently not as much as I thought.

Also, I spoke with the librarian who lent us the space to get dressed and to take our first look photos and she told me she had no idea anything was wrong other than the weather. She said that she thought I looked pretty much like a normally do. She said that she couldn’t tell what I was feeling.

Honestly, it feels very liberating to say that the way I felt leading up to my wedding made me feel like I didn’t love it. Yes, I liked my wedding. Yes, I adore my husband. But it is okay that I wasn’t feeling 100% bliss. It is okay that I wish I could have not felt that. It is okay that I felt rushed. It is okay. I don’t have to love every part of everything to think that our wedding day was a pretty good day. In the scheme of things… everything was wonderful. And who cares how I felt before the wedding. Who cares? It is how I feel now about my marriage and how I felt seeing his face the moment we said our vows. That’s the important part.

No more shame, no more guilt.

Thank you Meg for reminding me that it is okay. (Meg has posted two posts on this subject recently. You can read them here and here.)

A Practical Wedding: Not Loving Your Wedding